Have you ever felt like you were
the only person in the world
Not in a snobbish way but in a way
that you look around and
wonder where everyone went.
You ask yourself what the hell
happened it was just last month
you turned 40... wasn't it...
You can't be looking at 70 surely not.
That was the fastest 30 years you ever lived.
Looking back I recall a man
I loved with all my heart.
We had 7 years of loving and fighting
each other before the Lord called him home.
I'll never forget the evening he passed.
I was holding his hand when he drew
his last breath and I begged the doctors
to save him but it was not to be.
I now realize how selfish I was
to want to keep him here,
cancer is not an easy death.
Two years later I fell in love again.
Unfortunately he was an alchoholic
that lasted 10 years.
We had our good times and bad
but mostly good until
he developed a brain tumor.
I knew something was wrong
when he became abusive and
short tempered.
This man that had worshipped
me for 10 years had become
someone I didn't know.
At the hospital they found
he needed open heart surgery
the tumor had not been found yet.
I remember the day of his surgery ,
a nurse came out to tell me
he was in recovery and that
I shouldn't be alarmed when
I saw him that I should expect
to see some swelling.
Well when I saw him I was shocked ,
never in my wildest would I have
dreamed he would be so swelled
that I wasn't sure it was him.
It was 2 days before he recognized me.
It wasn't long after his heart surgery
that we split up with a little help from his mother.
Well that's part of my story as I look forward
to my 70th birthday and I don't feel 70 in my heart.
I feel like a teenager.
I want to fall in love again and feel the butterflies
in my tummy like I used to,
But that's another chapter for another time.
© 2012 Bonnie Ray
All rights reserved
Used with permission
Thank you for dropping by and visiting with me!
Joni
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1-28-2014
